Lists
by Amelia From A Fairy Tale
Summary: "Damian, for future reference? Strangling drug dealers 'til they agree with you is on the Never Okay list." In which Dick jokes about lists of crime fighting rules and Damian believes him.


I don't own any of the Batfamily.

Based on one of incogneat-oh's headcanons:

_As a joke, Dick started to guide Damian's behaviour using imaginary lists. ("Damian, for future reference? Strangling drug dealers 'til they agree with you is on the __Never Okay__list, hmm?", "Let's put cussing at perps on the __Only Sometimes Okay __list, yeah?") What he doesn't know is that Damian makes careful note of these, and actually writes these lists– __Never Okay, Very Rarely Okay, Only Sometimes Okay__, and __Almost Always Okay__– and keeps them in the top drawer of his nightstand. They are colour coded._

* * *

Dick doesn't think too much of it the first time he brings up the subject. The words slip out of his mouth just like any others do, though they are perhaps a bit tinged with the relief that Damian didn't kill the perp.

"Damian," he begins as they watch the cops lead their bad guy away in cuffs, "for future reference? Strangling drug dealers 'til they agree with you is on the Never Okay list, alright?" He turns to face Damian, making sure the child heard him, before he enters the Batmobile. The young vigilante makes a face, features twisting in an unpleasant fashion at the remark that places yet another limit on his crime-fighting methods.

"Tt…I've heard of no such list," Damian says as he climbs in the vehicle and buckles himself in. His tone of voice suggests that he's simply brushing off Dick's comment as yet another useless pointer that will never again cross his mind, but inside, it's quite the opposite. For a second, his mind races to try and remember any past references to this list. For the life of him, he finds himself unable to recall any such mentions. Then again, he's hardly been Robin for that long, so perhaps this is a list that each Robin develops as he (or she, in Brown's case) spends time under Batman's wings?

"Oh, it's not the only one," Dick says in response as he also buckles his seatbelt, "There's also the Very Rarely Okay, Only Sometimes Okay, and Almost Always Okay lists." He's still joking, of course, but Damian hasn't realized it yet. Dick doesn't pay attention to Damian's face (he's rather more concerned with make sure he doesn't hit any innocent civilians as he begins to drive back to the bunker), but had he been watching it, he would have seen a momentary flash of panic cross the young boy's features at the idea of _more_ lists.

Damian makes a mental note to remember all of these lists and write them down when they return. One day in the not-so-distant future, Dick will tell Tim that Damian practically bleeds a need to be accepted, and…while Damian doesn't quite realize it, it's painfully accurate. So, though he's not conscious of his reasoning behind the decision, he does it because he believes that being a better Robin will help others accept him more (that being an extremely basic analysis).

"That's ridiculous, Grayson." Damian sighs as he gazes out the window, but his mind is still focusing on these lists. One was bad enough (though easy enough to follow if Grayson would give him a substantial amount of information to add to it), but the three others complicate things. Something _not_ on the Never Okay list could fall in any of those three categories! He can't say that he'd imagined being on the "good side" to be so complex.

* * *

When Damian returns home, he retreats to his room. After scrounging around in his desk, he manages to find four different-colored post-it notes – hot pink (a garish color), yellow (not much better), bright electric blue (almost as bad as the pink), and a pale green (the only one he likes). After a moment of consideration, he carefully writes something in his neat penmanship at the top of each stack.

He writes _Never Okay_ on the pink one, _Very Rarely Okay_ on the yellow one, _Only Sometimes Okay_ on the blue one, and _Almost Always Okay_ to finish on the green one.

He sits back, admiring his handiwork, then meticulously adds _strangling drug dealers until they agree with you _next to a neat bullet point under Never Okay, just as Grayson had previously informed him. For a moment, he allows himself the indulgence of smiling in pride (not smirking, _smiling_), the carefully hides the lists away in the top drawer of his nightstand. It should be safe from snooping eyes (Drake's) there, yet still in a convenient location for him.

Good.

* * *

"Robin! Kicking perps off the side of a building is one of those things that goes under _Never Okay_, even if I'm there."

* * *

"Cussing at perps gets put under _Only Sometimes Okay_, especially when they've still got a gun in their hand!"

* * *

"Disobeying Alfred is _Never Okay_, Damian. Now _go apologize_ for making him trip because you can't clean up your tools when he tells you to!"

* * *

"Ugh, I think we learned our lesson, Lil' D…staying awake for forty-eight or more solid hours is definitely _Very Rarely Okay._ Go wash up and hop in bed, I think we both deserve some rest."

* * *

"Thanks, Dami, I needed that. Giving me a wake-up call when I'm being foolish is definitely _Almost Always Okay!_"

* * *

"Robin, we do _not_ attack our allies! That is _Very Rarely Okay_ – only when he or she is under mind control do we do that."

* * *

Damian finishes writing _using force that may cause a perp to go into shock and prevent him/her from talking_ under _Never Okay_, then sits back to look at all four of the lists. Each one has grown significantly over the past few weeks, and despite the small size of his handwriting, Damian's had to move on to new post-its. Perhaps it would be beneficial to procure some proper notepads or even a notebook in which to further continue transcribing the lists.

Though he would never openly admit it to Grayson, the lists have been of assistance. Writing them down and color-coding them proves to be beneficial to his (already superior) memory, and he hasn't yet slipped up and broken an already-stated rule. It gives him a sense of…accomplishment to be able to say that. Granted, some of the rules are irksome (dangling perps off the side of multi-story buildings has always proven to be a useful tactic, and now he's not allowed to do it), but…these are rules that Grayson (among other Robins) learned from _his father_. Somehow, that helps to soothe his anger a bit.

Suddenly, someone knocks on his door.

"Who's there?" He asks, irritation present in his voice. It had best not be that idiot Drake again…

"Just me, Lil' D. Can I come in?" Oh. Grayson. Much better. Damian glances at his desk, seeing the numerous post-its spread across it. For some reason, he feels embarrassed about them, and he doesn't want Grayson to catch sight of the brightly-colored squares of paper. He quickly gathers them up and secures them in his drawer again. He'll make sure to organize them before he retires tonight.

"You may enter." The elder brother opens the door, and leans against the frame instead of fully entering the room.

"Hey, D," he smiles, "Alfie's made some cookies. You want one? They're fresh out of the oven…" Yes, he can tell. The man has crumbs at the corners of his mouth and trickling down his shirt. Nevertheless, the offer is enticing. Pennyworth's baking is decent enough, and it is _much_ better than anyone else's in their ragtag family.

(They don't talk about Dick's cake incident. Or Jason's banana bread incident. Or Tim's lemon bar incident. And they_ especially_ do _not_ mention Bruce's waffle incident. Ever.)

"Tt, if you insist," he says as he slides off the bed to head towards the kitchen. Dick lets him exit the room first, lingering an extra moment so he can turn off the lights and shut the door behind him. However, when he leans forward to flip the switch, his sharp eyes catch sight of a bright bit of color on his younger brother's desk.

Confused as to why Damian, a boy who exalts stealth and blending in, would have anything as bright as _hot pink_ in his possession, Dick creeps forward for further inspection. He finds it to be some paper caught under the edge of a heavy tome. Carefully pulling it so as to make sure it won't rip, the vigilante holds it in the light to discover writing on it. His mouth opens a bit in wonder when he sees _Never Okay_ written carefully at the top of the post it, with neatly bulleted points underneath it. All the bullets are pointers he remembers jokingly giving Damian at one point or another over the past couple of weeks.

Had Damian taken him seriously when he'd said there were lists?

It warms Dick's heart to think that Damian cares about his instructions that much, but he still can't believe the boy thought he was being serious. Nevertheless, he hasn't noticed any repeat offences of any of the things on the list (if this list exists, then surely the others do…but Dick won't snoop), so he supposes his jokes are helping Robin keep his act together. In that case, he won't let Damian know that he wasn't being serious; at this point, it could potentially undo a lot of his work. Dick carefully slides the paper back to its original spot, making sure it looks just like it did when he first caught site of it.

With a smile, he leaves the room to join Alfred and Damian down in the kitchen.

* * *

A/N: oh god, i'm so nervous about posting this...not sure how great of a job i did with Dick and Damian's characterizations. i'm more used to writing YJ fics than actual Batman fics D:

anyway, for more fabulous headcanons, i highly suggest checking out incogneat-oh over on tumblr! they're great for providing inspiration for fics, plus they're usually pretty fun.

(plus, 'neat-oh's fics want to make me cry because they're so good)


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